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How Do You Want Me - Chapter 15
Title: How Do You Want Me
Author: Moitness
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warnings: Angst, Extreme Physical Abuse, Language, Male Pregnancy, Parenthood/Children, Smut, Yaoi / Slash
Summary: Harry sneaks out of his dorm and runs into the one and only, Draco Malfoy. After Draco gives him an illegal potion, their world is about to be flipped upside down
Disclaimer: Not mine.



The next morning, Harry opted to skip breakfast entirely. Instead, he headed straight to the Prefect’s Bathroom and waited until Rhy got there. The Ravenclaw stepped into the room with a somewhat solemn look on his face.

“You weren’t at breakfast this morning, Harry.”

“So.”

“I’m in charge-”

“Of making sure I don’t cut myself,” Harry cut in with an acid-laced tone.

Rhy pursed his lips.

“Let’s get this over with then.”

He took his time checking Harry closely from head to toe, nearly making the brunette flinch with his presence. Close attention was paid to old scars, in case Harry had decided to run a razor over them. Finally, Rhy stood up, satisfied, and allowed the Gryffindor to redress.

“Harry, about that kiss. . .” he started, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck nervously.

“It never happened,” Harry insisted firmly, looking the taller boy in the eye.

Rhy appeared hurt for a moment before stepping back, a smirk on his face. “You didn’t tell Malfoy.”

“Of course not!” Harry whet his lips as his eyes flashed dangerously. “It never happened,” he said evenly, before stalking out the door.

Harry walked briskly to the owlery, nearly trampling a couple first years in his wake. He entered the room in such a huff, a few of the school owls skittered away in fright. Hedwig was undisturbed as she flew down to meet her master.

“Hey, girl,” Harry said, petting the downy-soft feathers.

He dug a piece parchment out of his pocket and smoothed the paper the best he could. “Take this to Draco for me, okay, Hedwig?”

With a soft hoot of reply, the snowy owl took off, soaring gracefully through one of the many open windows.

Harry’s reply came much later in the day. He had already seen Rhy again -- ignoring everything the Ravenclaw had to say. The Gryffindor now sat alone in the room where the Mirror of Erised once stood, brooding over his situation.

Harry-

Consider yourself forgiven. I could never hold a grudge against you. Come to my room as soon as you can. We never got to finish talking last night.

-D

Harry nearly tripped over s own feet getting to Draco’s room, he ran so fast. He steadied himself and knocked firmly on the door, not trying to give his excitement away. Draco’s roommate answered the door and Harry’s face fell.

“Blaise.”

“He’s in there,” Blaise said, walking past Harry.

Harry looked over his shoulder at the fleeting form, unsure what to do.

“Are you going to stand there all day, or are you coming in?” Draco stood in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the door jam.

Harry dropped his eyes and shuffled into the room like a kicked dog. He took a seat delicately on the furry cobalt armchair in the corner of the room. His hands fell uselessly in his lap as he looked up at his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“Apology accepted,” Draco replied, shutting the door. He crossed the room and knelt down, taking the brunette’s hands in his own.

“The last thing I want is for you to hurt, Harry. I’m only trying to protect you.”

“I know.” Harry nodded, his voice quiet. He lowered his dark eyelashes to their joined hands. “I have to show you something.”

Standing up, Harry released Draco’s hands.

The blond sat back on his haunches so he could look up at Harry.

The Gryffindor silently unbuckled his trousers and lowered them down his legs. He stood up, dragging the hem of his pants with him.

Draco let out a soft breath of surprise when he saw the newest mark. “Why?” he asked, running his fingers over the scabbed lines.

“Stress.” Harry shrugged. “The other night, when I left, I had to meet Rhy. He asked me what happened, because he knew I was upset. He figured out we had a fight.” Harry took a breath. “Then he kissed me,” he said, letting the breath out.

Turning his head to the side, Harry willed himself to look anywhere but Draco’s eyes. He looked down when he felt smooth palms sliding over his thighs.

“What did you do then?” Draco’s voice was tight as though he was just barely holding back some emotion.

“I pushed him away and ran back to Gryffindor,” he said, keeping his eyes on the thumbs rubbing small circles on his thigh. “I tried to talk to Ron, but he was -- busy. So I left.” Harry motioned to his latest scar. “That’s it.”

Draco stood up and pushed Harry down into the chair behind him before straddling his knees. “Did this make you feel better?” he asked, cupping the mark in his hand.

“Yes,” Harry replied, just over a whisper.

“Maybe it will make me feel better, too,” Draco said thoughtfully.

“What?” Harry’s head shot up.

Draco nodded. “Seeing you in pain hurts me. Maybe if I cut myself, I’ll feel better, too.”

Harry pushed Draco’s hands away form his skin and turned his head. “Draco, don’t do this to me.”

“Don’t do what?” Draco’s tone was malicious. He grabbed Harry’s jaw between his thumb and forefinger, forcing the brunette to look at him. “Don’t tell me not to do things you can’t stop yourself from doing.”

In the span of a heartbeat, Harry pushed Draco off him and onto the floor. “That’s not fair and you know it,” he growled, rubbing his jaw.

“It’s not fair to our daughter that you keep mutilating yourself,” Draco countered.

Harry drew in a breath, glowering.

“I know it’s not easy,” Draco continued, “but there has to be a way to redistribute your emotion into a better outlet.”

Trailing his hand down Harry’s chest, he let his fingertips catch in the buttons down the front of Harry’s ivory blouse. Grey eyes flicked upward, silently asking for permission. The hunter gaze that met him was full of anguish -- a far cry from desire.

“Talk to me, Harry,” Draco said, toying with a beady black button.

“Your touch frightens me,” Harry said suddenly.

Draco pulled his hands away as though he had been burn. He stumbled to his feet, hands clasped to his chest. The aristocrat looked very much like a man who had just been wounded by a bullet. He swallowed thickly, the colour of his skin fading to match Harry’s shirt.

“That’s not what I mean.” Harry’s tone had gone from worried to distressed. Unsure of what to do with his hands, he buttoned and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt until Draco’s gently hands stopped him.

“We need to have a serious talk,” Draco said firmly.

Draco took a seat on the bed next to the chair -- Blaise’s bed -- not his. “Where do you want this to go?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. A few stray hairs fell into his eyes. Draco brushed them away, annoyed.

Harry had pulled his knees up to his chest once more. The pose left him looking scared and vulnerable, which wasn’t far from the truth.

“Right now, I am so confused I don’t know what to do with myself.” Harry buried his nose between his knees until Draco could only see the emerald eyes.

“Listen,” Draco took Harry’s hands in his, “It’s not your fault Rhyahni kissed you, okay? I’m not mad.”

Harry nodded, tears threatening to spill over.

Draco pulled him in to a hug. Nearly reluctant, Harry relaxed into the embrace.

“There’s more to the story,” Harry said, in a choked voice.

Draco nodded against Harry’s shoulder. “When you’re ready to tell me, I’m ready to listen.”

Harry pulled away. He took a deep shuddering breath and wiped the ears form his eyes. Then he proceeded to tell Draco the real story -- his stalked included.

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