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How Do You Want Me - Chapter 20
Title: How Do You Want Me
Author: Moitness
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warnings: Angst, Extreme Physical Abuse, Language, Male Pregnancy, Parenthood/Children, Smut, Yaoi / Slash
Summary: Harry sneaks out of his dorm and runs into the one and only, Draco Malfoy. After Draco gives him an illegal potion, their world is about to be flipped upside down
Disclaimer: Not mine.



Christopher Rhyahni had become a very elusive person. Normally, he could be found in the library, or monitoring the halls during when he was on duty. Lately, however, he had taken to restricting his Prefect duties to his own House. His continued absence only made Harry’s anxiety level escalate.

“It was just a dream,” he said to himself as he rounded the corner and nearly ran into the Ravenclaw.

“Harry,” Rhy said, backing up. His tone held surprise as he gazed down at the smaller boy.

Harry self-consciously pulled his robes tighter around his burgeoning middle. He shifted his bag the opposite shoulder and tried to calm his breathing.

“Rhy,” he echoed in a nervous voice. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yes, it has,” Rhy agreed, allowing a smile to grace his handsome features. “I haven’t seen you since you were in the infirmary.”

“The infirmary?” Harry’s voice was suddenly high and tight. It felt like an iron fist had closed around his windpipe and was choking him.

“You probably don’t remember.” Rhy took a step forward and Harry reflexively took a step back. “You were asleep at first. Then I saw your eyelids flutter.”

He let out a breath and took a step back. He shook his head and smiled down at Harry s though they had just been discussing the weather. “It was silly of me. I just said some things I probably should have waited to say.”

Harry’s breath quickened and he began to hyperventilate.

“Harry, are you okay?” Rhy asked, concerned, reaching a hand out.

“Don’t touch me!” Harry gasped, backing away from the Ravenclaw. He thrust a hand out on either side of himself, trying to pull the wall around him as a shield. Falling to his knees, Harry tried desperately to pull a steady breath into his lungs.

“Mr. Rhyahni!”

McGonagall appeared out of nowhere. “Mr. Potter, are you all right?” She bent down to help Harry, while glaring sternly at Rhy, assuming he was the cause of Harry’s lack of breathing.

Harry started coughing and managed to catch his breath.

“I’m okay,” he squeezed out.

McGonagall helped him up.

“I need to go to class,” he said quickly, before any more questions could be asked.

Draco grabbed Harry’s elbow just before the Gryffindor entered the Great Hall for lunch.

“Don’t do that!” Harry hissed, pulling his arm away.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Draco apologized, burying his hands in the pockets of his robes.

“I just had a rough morning,” Harry sighed, shaking his head.

Draco’s eyes moved down Harry’s abdomen in question.

“No,” Harry said, before the question could be asked.

“All right. I just came to ask if you wanted to sit with me today.”

Harry made a face. “Can we go take a nap instead?” he asked, rolling his big green eyes upward.

“Of course,” Draco answered, with a smile.

Harry took off his robe and laid down on his back, relaxing against the mountain of Draco’s pillows. “I’ve never been this fat before,” Harry frowned, looking down at his belly.

“You’re pregnant,” Draco replied pragmatically, raising an eyebrow.

Harry’s frown deepened. “My jumper doesn’t even fit anymore,” he whinged, vainly attempting to tug the material completely over his football-sized belly to no avail.

“Try this,” Draco said, tossing a new jumper at him.

“A Slytherin jumper?” Harry made a noise of disgust. “I can’t wear this.”

“Who’s going to see it?” Draco countered. He crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to his complaint-riddled boyfriend. “At least it will fit.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Harry grumbled, changing his shirt.

“Of course I am,” Draco answered smugly.

“Quit gloating and lay down,” Harry ordered.

Draco swallowed his sarcastic reply and obeyed the command. He rested on his side, allowing himself access to run gentle fingers over the bulge beneath Harry’s shirt.

“Do you think she can hear us?” Draco asked quietly, reverently, allowing his hand to still above Harry’s navel.

“Who?” Harry asked, cracking an eye open.

“Jamie.” Draco cocked his head to the side. A few errant strands of hair fell into his eyes. Harry reached up a hand and pushed the hair back behind Draco’s ear.

“Of course she can.”

Laying his head down on Harry’s chest, Draco curled around Harry’s body. The steady thump of their heartbeats was the only sound in the room.

“Harry?”

Harry hummed in response, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“What do you think of a fall wedding?” Draco asked, carding a gentle hand through the silky locks in front of him.

“Sounds brilliant.”

Sighing contently, Draco nuzzled the fabric of the jumper Harry wore and relaxed into the embrace.

Harry laid awake for the duration of the lunch hour. He was unable to roll over, thereby allowing himself to redistribute his weight and fall asleep.

“Draco,” He shook the blond’s shoulder, trying to prise Draco from his slumber. “Draco, wake up,” he insisted, shaking the blond harder.

“Tell me when you’re ready to walk out the door,” Draco mumbled.

Harry sighed irritably. “I can’t go to the loo with you on top of me.”

Draco opened his eyes and yawned deeply. He looked up at Harry and quickly sat up when he realized what was going on.

“Sorry,” Draco muttered.

“It’s all right,” Harry answered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “I just really didn’t want to loose my bladder all over you.”

After Harry relieved himself, Draco escorted him to his next class. Outside the door to Charms, Harry fussed with the collar of his robes.

“Are you sure nobody can tell there’s green under here?”

Draco smoothed his hands down the front of Harry’s uniform. “At the most, they’ll assume you grabbed my jumper by accident after an intense lovemaking session.”

Red-faced and scandalized, Harry disappeared into the Charms classroom, leaving Draco cackling to himself in the corridor.

Two weeks later, Harry had his first check up for March. After the routine tests were done, Madame Pomfry asked Draco to wait outside, claiming she had to do a test without ‘outside interference’.

Once the door was closed, she sat down in front of Harry. “When is the last time you cut yourself?” she asked, expectantly.

“What are you talking about?” Harry made a face and began pulling his shirt on.

“The marks on your inner thighs, Harry. The blood test confirmed it.”

Harry finished putting his shirt on and faced the medi-witch. “It was an accident,” he stated, firmly.

“Significant blood loss isn’t good for the baby, Harry.”

The Gryffindor didn’t say anything, but his throat dried up and it became hard to swallow.

“Draco doesn’t know, does he?”

Looking down at his hands, Harry shook his head.

“I can give you a potion,” Pomfry said gently.

“The last thing I need is more medication!” Harry shouted. “I’m sorry,” he said softer. “I’m sorry.”

Without waiting for a response, he continued. “When I was nine, the Dursley’s found out that I cut myself. They took me to a shrink, who put me on more pills than I could count. I couldn’t even think because my head was so foggy. Vernon knew how overdosed I was. That’s when he-” Harry’s breath hitched as he drew in a breath.

“I hope you understand that I won’t take a potion, nor will I stop cutting. Cutting has been the only thing in my life that I’ve ever been able to control.”

Pomfry nodded, her lips pursed in a tight, firm line. “You’re free to go.”

Harry hopped off the table. “Thank you for not telling Draco.”

“Of course,” Pomfry answered, busying herself with the parchments in her hands.

“Is everything okay?” Draco asked, standing up as Harry shut the door to the infirmary behind him.

“Yes,” Harry nodded. “Never better.”

“Good.” Draco slid his arm around Harry’s waist, pulling the brunette closer

“Shall we go find something to do?”

“As long as it involves a soft surface to lay on. My back is killing me.”

Rubbing his hand up and down Harry’s lower back, Draco was silent for a moment. “How about we go lay in my bed and you can read to me while I rub your feet.”

“Sounds bloody fantastic,” Harry decided, laying his head on Draco’s shoulder.

Taking Harry’s hand, Draco led them down to his room, where Harry situated himself in the middle of Draco’s bed.

“Why is your bed so much more comfortable than mine?”

“Slytherin Prefect status, love,” Draco answered, taking a seat at Harry’s feet. “What book do you want to read?”

Harry closed his eyes, mentally running through the extensive collection of titles on Draco’s bookshelf.

“Cinderella,” Harry said finally, opening his eyes.

Draco arched an eyebrow. “You want me to spend my Saturday reading out of the single book of fairy tales - muggle fairy tales - I own?”

Harry’s eyes grew wide and began to glitter with unshed tears. “We don’t have to read it if you don’t want to!” He blinked and the tears streamed down his cheeks in two salty rivulets. Wiping them away in frustration, he drew in a deep breath. “Why is it always about what you want? All I want to do is read a fairy tale!”

“Harry, I’m sorry,” Draco apologized, folding his hands in his lap. “We can read what ever you want.”

“It’s okay.” Harry scrubbed at his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper. “My emotions just keep getting the best of me.” He threw his hands into the air with his last statement. The sleeve of his jumper slid down his arm and Draco caught a glimpse of something underneath.

“Harry, what is that?” Draco asked, leaning across the Gryffindor’s legs.

“What?” Harry asked, turning his arm over, flicking the sleeve back in place.

“On your arm,” Draco said, reaching for the appendage.

“Nothing,” Harry pulled his arm back instinctively.

“Let me see.” Draco’s hand closed around Harry’s arm. Harry yelped in pain and Draco let go at once.

“Let me see,” Draco repeated, his tone low and threatening.

Harry begrudgingly pulled back his sleeve. A series of freshly cut lines crisscrossed just beneath Harry’s wrist. The cuts weren’t deep enough to be fatal, but shallow cuts always carried a more painful sting.

“I made those just after I left the infirmary. Before you saw me,” Harry said, softly, without being prompted.

Draco ran his thumb almost reverently over the cuts.

Harry hissed though his teeth, but didn’t pull away this time.

“Do you want a bandage?” Draco asked sincerely.

“Yes,” Harry answered, looking up. The pain Draco saw in those green eyes made him want to take Harry into his arms and erase all the pain the young hero ever felt.

“I’ll be right back.”

Draco returned a few minutes later with a bandage and tape. “We don’t exactly have an muggle bandages, so I hope this will do.”

Harry nodded. He watched silently as Draco wrapped the sterile white gauze around his wrist and secured it with tape. Sealing the bandage with a soft kiss, Draco looked up.

“Do you feel better now?” the blond asked, once again pulling Harry’s feet into his lap.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded and gave Draco a small smile. “Yeah, I do.”

He picked up the book of fairy tales sitting next to him on the bed. “Once upon a time, in a land far, far away . . .”

As they neared the end of the story, Harry’s voice got softer and softer until it faded out of Draco’s hearing.

“Harry?” Draco questioned, looking up.

The Gryffindor was sleeping soundly with the book of fairy tales resting gently against the swell of his stomach. Draco carefully pulled the book out of Harry’s lax grip and set it on the nightstand.

Laying down next to his boyfriend, he closed his eyes and whispered, “and they lived happily ever after.”