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How Do You Want Me - Chapter 21
Title: How Do You Want Me
Author: Moitness
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warnings: Angst, Extreme Physical Abuse, Language, Male Pregnancy, Parenthood/Children, Smut, Yaoi / Slash
Summary: Harry sneaks out of his dorm and runs into the one and only, Draco Malfoy. After Draco gives him an illegal potion, their world is about to be flipped upside down
Disclaimer: Not mine.



Harry began to cast glamour charms on himself before going to class in the morning. Only his and Draco's close friends knew about the baby and Harry intended to keep it that way. The only drawback was that the glamours had to be monitored by Professor McGonagall. That meant another person would be keeping an eye on him. Harry was less than thrilled.

His professor was usually silent during the exchange. Every morning after breakfast, Harry would hand his wand over as McGonagall cast the necessary spells.

"All set, Potter," she said, handing the wand back to him. She headed for the door. "And Potter?"

Harry turned around slowly, carefully.

"I received word earlier this week that your ban from Quidditch last year has been lifted. I'm sure the Gryffindor team will graciously welcome you back, perhaps as captain, next year?"

A wide grin split across Harry's features.

"Thank you professor," he said.

McGonagall's lip twitched. If only for a second, Harry could have sworn the old woman smiled at him.

Harry was so excited, he ran nearly all the way back to the common room to tell Ron his good news.

"Ron!" he shouted, bursting through the portrait hole.

Ron, who had been rushing down the stairs from the dormitory, haphazardly shoving schoolbooks not this back, looked up.

"Hey mate," he said, hefting the bag over his shoulder.

"I'm going to play Quidditch next year!" Harry shouted, unable tow wait for Ron to question the source of his excitement.

"Blimey!" Ron cried, clapping Harry on the shoulder. "That's brilliant! Our team has been complete shite without you."

"I heard that!" Ginny, who had been laying seeker in Harry's absence, called from across the common room.

"Like I said," Ron continued, ignoring his sister's comment, "we've been complete shite."

Ginny gave the duo a two-fingered salute as they walked past her, which Ron returned in kind.

Their morning classes were filled with much discussion and note passing of game strategies for the fall season. They were still talking Quidditch when Draco met them on the way to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Keep trying Weasley, but Slytherin will still tromp you. Even with Potter back on the team," Draco bantered good-naturedly.

"Don't worry, Ron," Harry cut in. "Malfoy here can't tell the difference between the snitch and his bullocks. He's no match for me."

Draco pulled Harry in close to him. "I'd rather catch your bullocks than a snitch any day," he smouldered into the brunette's ear.

Harry's face flushed scarlet and Ron made a face.

"Don't tell me. I might not be able to choke down my lunch, if you do."

"For you Weasley, that's saying something," Draco quipped.

Harry grabbed his arm and pulled the laughing Slytherin into the Great Hall, leaving Ron with a decidedly sick look on his face.

"I can't believe you said that in front of Ron today," Harry sighed, as he stepped into Draco's room later that night.

"Said what?" Draco asked distractedly, pulling off his boots.

"That you wanted to grab my bullocks," Harry said.

"Maybe I do," Draco replied, stalking forward.

Harry squeaked as his calves hit Draco's bed and he sat down. Draco came to stand between Harry's legs. Placing his hands on Harry's knees, he slid them higher as he leaned forward.

"Finite Incatatem," he whispered, sealing Harry's lips in a kiss.

Easing Harry back on the bed, Draco was careful to keep his weight on his knees around Harry's body. The bump that was invisible moments before was now cradled gently between their bodies.

"You're beautiful," Draco murmured, trailing a finger down Harry's cheek.

Harry squirmed nervously under the intense gaze. Draco kissed him again and Harry groaned into his mouth. Rolling sideways onto the bed, Draco tugged on Harry's arm.

"I don't want to hurt the baby," he answered Harry's questioning gaze.

Ever so gently, Harry laid his full weight down on Draco's body. "Am I hurting you?" he asked, his eyes darting nervously upward.

"Love," Draco drawled, "you could never hurt me." He fisted the hair at the nape of Harry's neck and drew him down for a kiss.

Harry made a noise in the back of his throat.

"Did I hurt you?" Draco asked, pulling away quickly.

"No," Harry answered, his expression dazed, "that was great." He laid his head down on Draco's chest, dousing any attempt Draco had at getting any more action. "Can I stay here tonight?" he asked without lifting his head.

Draco hesitated. "Blaise is going to be here, but I don't mind."

"S'no diff'rence t'me," Harry mumbled.

Draco gently extracted himself from Harry, once he was sure the brunette was asleep. He sat down at his desk to wait for Blaise. Fortunately, he didn't have to wait very long.

Blaise opened the door, and upon seeing Harry, gently shut it behind him.

"Can we talk?" Draco whispered, standing up.

Blaise nodded, and followed his friend up to the common room.

"What's wrong with Potter?" Blaise asked, taking his usual seat in front of the fire.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Draco studied his nails, carefully avoiding Blaise's eyes.

"The Gryffindorks kicked him out, didn't they?" Blaise's tone mocked.

"What?" Draco looked up. "No!" Draco ran a hand through is hair. "He's got -- problems."

"Other than the fact that you knocked him up?"

Draco scowled. "I'm serious, Blaise."

The Italian shrugged a shoulder. "Go on," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "You have my full attention."

Draco waited a moment before speaking, to ensure Blaise was serious. The brunette just sat still, looking at Draco expectantly.

Taking a deep breath, Draco let it out slowly. "Harry cuts himself."

Before Blaise could cut in with his own assumption, Draco continued. "He's got scars all over his arms. He's been doing it since before he came to Hogwarts. That's why he never rolls the sleeves of his jumper up in Potions."

Blaise sat back in his chair, digesting the information. Long minutes ticked by. Finally, he leaned forward, steepling his fingers together.

"Have you told Professor Snape?"

"No!" Draco cried, incredulous.

"McGonagall?"

"No."

"Pomfry?"

Draco shook his head.

More insistently, "Dumbledore?"

Another shake.

Blaise sighed. "Then what do you expect me to do?"

"Help me decide what to do," Draco sighed resolutely.

Blaise stared into the fire for a moment, watching the crisp orange flames dance over the log they were consuming. "It's consuming him," he said finally.

Draco sneered. "Tell me something I don't know."

Blaise held his hands in front of him in defence. "You came to me," he admonished.

"Draco."

Draco looked up. Harry was standing in the doorway to the common room wrapped in the heather coverlet from Draco's bed. The blond Slytherin gave an apologetic look to Blaise and stood up.

"Are you okay?" he asked, coming to stand in front of Harry.

"Yeah," Harry shrugged. "I woke up and you were gone. I just wanted to make sure you were coming back."

"Go back to bed, Harry," Draco said, smoothing the duvet down Harry's chest. "I'll be there in a minute."

Nodding, Harry kissed Draco on the cheek and left him alone with Blaise.

As Draco sat back down, Blaise whistled low through his teeth.

"Have I mentioned he's been abused?" Draco scoffed, his anger directed at Harry's muggles. "I'm going to bed."

"Next time you choose a Gryffindor, Malfoy, make sure he's mentally stable."

Draco gave him a two-fingered salute as he left the room.

By the end of March, Draco wasn't any closer to a solution for Harry, and Blaise was about as helpful as a prediction in Trelawney's class. Draco had discussed the situation with his godfather once more, but Severus was still adamant that he wouldn't touch Harry "while the boy is with child".

That left Draco with only one person to turn to for help. Unfortunately, that particular person wasn't even on speaking terms with him.

Draco sighed for the fifth time. "I told you. Harry Potter is my boyfriend. Just let me in to see him."

"Absolutely not," the fat lady replied. "Under no circumstances will I allow a Slytherin into this dormitory."

Draco scowled, resisting the urge to kick the offending portrait. "How about I just transfigure my robes into that sickly maroon colour? Then what?" he mocked.

The fat lady ignored him, instead pretending to be asleep.

"Bloody Gryffindors!" he growled, kicking the wall.

"Can I help you, Malfoy?"

Draco spun around, half-sighing when he saw the person he had been searching for. "I know you probably hate me right now," he started, "but I really need your help, Granger."

Hermione considered him for a moment shifting the stack of books balanced carefully on her hip. "Come on," she said finally.

The fat lady gave them both a scowl of disapproval as Draco entered the Tower. Hermione led him through the common room and down a long corridor to a door with her name on it. At Draco's snort, she said, "I'm Head Girl, Malfoy. Don't think Slytherins are the only ones with special privileges around here."

Draco shrugged non-commitedly and followed her into the room. Following in the same trend as with his own room, Hermione's was decorated in deep slate blue and grey, favouring Ravenclaw colours much more than her own Gryffindor.

"Sit," Hermione commanded, pointing to the straight-backed chair in front of her desk while she took a seat on the bed. "All right, let's hear it."

Draco took a deep breath and began the story. When he finally finished, the Head Girl was nearly in tears.

"I can't believe he would do that to himself," she said, dabbing at her eyes. "Do you think that's why he went with you that night?"

Draco held a hand up. "I have my own issues with that, but yes, I believe so." He paused a minute. "What do you think we should do?"

"We," Hermione emphasized the word, "are not going to do anything." Before Draco could protest, she continued. "You need to tell Harry how you feel about the situation. If he never tells anybody who has been threatening him, he'll be threatened for the rest of his life."

Draco sighed. He knew Hermione was right, he just didn't know how to convince Harry.

"Good evening, gorgeous," Draco said, sidling up to Harry on his way into the Great Hall that night.

"Hi," Harry said, giving Draco a bright smile. He slid his arm around the blonde's waist in a rare display of public affection. "Care to join me for dinner?"


"Actually," Draco stopped just before the doors to the Great Hall. "I thought we could have dinner in my room." Giving Harry's hip a light squeeze, he added, "Just the two of us."

"Okay," Harry agreed, turning his face upward for a kiss.

Draco obliged him. "Just like that?" he asked, uncertainly.

"Just like that," Harry nodded.

"Where is Blaise?" Harry asked, eyeing the banquet laid out on the table Draco conjured.

"With a Gryffindor," Draco answered elusively, lighting the candles on the table with his wand-tip.

Harry raised his eyebrows. "A fifth year?"

"Sixth year," Draco corrected.

"It's not Lavender, is it?" Harry guessed, ignoring the pumpkin juice Draco set in front of him.

Draco took a bite of his dinner before answering. "Lavender doesn't have a cock."

Harry nodded once. "I thought so."

Draco let out a barking laugh. "You make it sound like Blaise is the only one who favours blokes or did you know that I'm not a bird?" he asked, with a wink.

Harry gasped and his hand flew to his mouth in feigned shock. "You mean your roommate is a pouf?" he cried from behind his hand.

Draco just rolled his eyes at Harry's antics. "Actually," he said, reaching across the table to take Harry's hand, "there's something I want to talk to you about."

Harry's fork stopped halfway to his mouth. He set the fork down slowly and met Draco's eyes. "Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, quietly.

"What?" Surprised, Draco pulled his hand away.

Harry pulled his own hand away and folded them both in his lap. Looking down, he whispered, "I understand."

"Harry, no," Draco said, shaking off his surprise. "I'm not breaking up with you," he said.

Harry nodded, but he didn't look up.

Draco scrubbed at his eyes. The mood was ruined. Harry had revered back into himself. There was no use sugar-coating what he was trying to say. "Harry you need to talk to someone."

"About what?" Harry asked innocently, pushing the uneaten food around his plate.

"Talk about whatever is on your mind."

"You mean my cutting," Harry answered in the same quiet tone.

"If that's on your mind, then yes."

"It's not on my mind; it's on your mind." Harry dropped his fork with a loud clatter. "I don't want to talk about that," he said, meeting Draco's gaze evenly.

"Well, I do," Draco said, sending the challenging tone right back.

"I know who it is," Harry changed the subject, dropping his gaze back down to his plate.

"You know who what is?" Draco asked, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"I know who has been following me."